Title Landfills - Fact Is More Ominous Than Fiction It Has Long Been

Title: Landfills - Fact is more ominous than fiction It has long been believed that the largest entity brought upon the Earth by humankind is the Pyramid of the Sun, constructed in Mexico around the start of the Christian era. The mammoth structure commands nearly thirty million cubic feet of space. In contrast, however, is the Durham Road Landfill, outside San Francisco, which occupies over seventy million cubic feet of the biosphere. It is a sad monument, indeed, to the excesses of modern society [Gore 151]. One might assume such a monstrous mound of garbage is the largest thing ever produced by human hands. Unhappily, this is not the case. The Fresh Kills Landfill, located on Staten Island, is the largest landfill in the world. It sports an elevation of 155 feet, an estimated mass of 100 million tons, and a volume of 2.9 billion cubic feet. In total acreage, it is equal to 16,000 baseball diamonds [Miller 526]. By the year 2005, when the landfill is projected to close, its elevati on will reach 505 feet above sea level, making it the highest point along the Eastern Seaboard, Florida to Maine. At that height, the mound will constitute a hazard to air traffic at Newark airport [Rathje 3-4]. Fresh Kills (Kills is from the Dutch word for creek) was originally a tidal marsh. In 1948, New York City planner Robert Moses developed a highly praised project to deposit municipal garbage in the swamp until the level of the land was above sea level. A study of the area predicted the marsh would be filled by the year 1968. He then planned to develop the area, building houses and attracting light industry. Mayor Impelliteri issued a report titled "The Fresh Kills Landfill Project" in 1951. The report stated, in part, that the enterprise "cannot fail to affect constructively a wide area around it." The report ended by stating, "It is at once practical and idealistic" [Rathje 4]. One must appreciate the irony in the fact that Robert Moses was, in his day, considered a leading conservationist. His major accomplishments include asphalt parking lots throughout the New York metro area, paved roads in and out of city parks, and development of Jones Beach, now the most polluted, dirty, overcrowded piece of shoreline in the Northeast. In Stewart Udall's book The Quiet Crisis, the former Secretary of the Interior lavishes praise on Moses. The JFK cabinet member calls Jones Beach "an imaginative solution ... (the) supreme answer to the ever-present problems of overcrowding" [Udall 163-4]. JFK's introduction to the book provides this foreboding passage: "Each generation must deal anew with the raiders, with the scramble to use public resources for private profit, and with the tendency to prefer short-run profits to long-run necessities. The crisis may be quiet, but it is urgent" [Udall xii]. Oddly, the subject of landfills is never broached in Udall's book; in 1963, the issue was, in fact, a non-issue. A modern state-of-the-art sanitary landfill is a graveyard fo r garbage, where deposited wastes are compacted, spread in thin layers, and covered daily with clay or synthetic foam. The modern landfill is lined with multiple, impermeable layers of clay, sand, and plastic before any garbage is deposited. This liner prevents liquids, called leachates, from percolating into the groundwater. Leachates result from rain water mixing with fluids in the garbage, making a highly toxic "juice" containing inks, heavy metals, and other poisonous compounds. Ideally, leachates are pumped up from collection points along the bottom of the landfill and either shipped to liquid waste disposal points or re-introduced into the upper layers of garbage, to resume the cycle. Unfortunately, most landfills have no such pumping system [Miller 527]. Until the formation of the Environmental Protection Agency by Nixon in 1970, there were virtually no regulations governing the construction, operation, and closure of landfills. As a result, 85 percent of all landfills extant in this country are unlined. Many are located in close proximity to aquifers or other groundwater features, or near geologically unstable sites. Many older landfills are leaching toxins into our water supply at this very moment, with no way to stop them. For example, the Fresh Kills landfill leaks an estimated

Quetzalcoatl - Pan-Mesoamerican Feathered Serpent God

Quetzalcoatl - Pan-Mesoamerican Feathered Serpent God Quetzalcoatl pronounced Keh-tzal-coh-WAH-tul and roughly translated as the Feathered Serpent, the Plumed Serpent or the Quetzal-Feathered Serpent, is the name of an important Mesoamerican deity who was worshiped throughout the region in one form or another for 1,200 years. Key Takeaways: Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl is the name of a central Mexican deity, closely related to the morning star, Venus.  He appears in Post-classic tales from the Maya, Toltec, and Aztec cultures.As an Aztec deity, he was one of four sons of the creator god Ometeotl, associated with the wind god, and the patron god of arts and knowledge.A persistent myth about the conquistador Hernan Cortà ©s being mistaken for Quetzalcoatl is almost certainly false.   During the Postclassic period (900–1521 CE), several cultures- including the Maya, Toltecs, Aztecs and other polities in Central Mexico- all practiced some version of the cult which had formed around the legends of Quetzalcoatl. However, the majority of information about this god comes from Aztec/Mexica sources, including surviving Aztec codexes, as well as oral history told to the Spanish conquistadors. The Pan-Mesoamerican Quetzalcoatl The pyramid of Quetzalcoatl (god of the feathered serpent) is showing the alternating Tlaloc (left, with goggle eyes, a god of rain, fertility, and water) and feathered serpent (right, with a collar of feathers) heads. stockcam / iStock / Getty Images The earliest example of Quetzalcoatl, or at least a Feathered Serpent god, comes from the Classic period (200–600 CE) city of Teotihuacn, where one of the main temples, the Temple of Quetzalcoatl in the Ciudadela, is decorated with carvings of feathered serpents. Among the Classic Maya, the figure of a feathered serpent is illustrated in many stone monuments and murals and is often related to the worship of royal ancestors. During the Terminal Classic or Epiclassic (650–1000 CE) period, the cult of the Feathered Serpent spread dramatically throughout Mesoamerica, including the central Mexico centers of Xochicalco, Cholula, and Cacaxtla. The most famous example of the Mayan Quetzalcoatl cult is reflected in the architectural aspects of Chichà ©n Itz in the Yucatn Peninsula, where Maya Puuc styles are contrasted with those of the Quetzalcoatl-inspired Toltec. According to local and colonial legends, the Toltec shaman/king Quetzalcoatl (known as Kukulcan in the Maya language) arrived in the Maya region after having been ousted by political rivals, bringing with him not just a new architectural style but a new set of religious and political practices associated with militarism and human sacrifice. The Origins of Aztec Quetzalcoatl Experts on Mesoamerican religion believe that the Aztec (1325–1521 CE) figure of Quetzalcoatl began with the legend of the pan-Mesoamerican god and blended in a historical Tollan leader, Ce Acatl Topiltzin Quetzalcoatl, who reportedly lived 843–895 CE). This man was a heroic figure, probably a king and/or a priest, who left his home in the Toltec capital of Tula chased out by traitorous priests, but promising to return. The Aztecs considered the Tollan leader the ideal king; more details are found in the legend of the Toltecs. The story undeniably echoes the Mayan story, but whether or not this legend is based on real events is still under debate among scholars. Quetzalcoatl as Aztec Deity Quetzalcoatl, the Toltec and Aztec god; the plumed serpent, god of the wind, learning and the priesthood, master of life, creator and civiliser, patron of every art and inventor of metallurgy, in the Codex Borbonicus. Bridgeman Art Library / Getty Images Quetzalcoatl the deity was one of four sons of the creator god Ometeotl in his male form Ometecuhtli (â€Å"Two-Lord†) and his female form, Omecihuatl (â€Å"Two-Lady†), and brother of Tezcatlipoca, Xipe Totec, and Huitzilopochtli. The Aztecs called their era the time of the 5th Sun- there had been four previous versions of the earth and its people, each ruled by different gods. According to the Aztec Legend of the Suns, Quetzalcoatl ruled over the second Sun of Aztec creation. He was a creator god, associated with the wind god (Ehecatl) and the planet Venus. Quetzalcoatl was also the patron god of arts and knowledge. He was one of the most human-loving of the gods in the Aztec pantheon. He was the god who met with an ant to provide humans with their first maize to plant, and he was responsible for saving all humanity at the beginning of the Fifth Sun. Quetzalcoatl and the Bones of the Ancestors At the end of the fourth sun, so it is told, all humanity was drowned, and after the creation of the fifth sun, Quetzalcoatl descended into the underworld (Mictlan) to negotiate with the god of the underworld (Mictlantecuhtli) the return of humanitys bones so the earth could be repopulated. When Mictlantecuhtli proved unwilling to give them back, Quetzalcoatl stole the bones. In his hasty retreat, he was startled by a quail and tripped and broke them (which is why humans come in a range of different sizes), but managed to carry the bones to the paradise of Tamoanchan, where the goddess Cihuacoatl ground them up and placed them in a jade bowl. Then Quetzalcoatl and other gods performed the first auto-sacrifice  when they shed their blood over the bones and endowed them with life, thus lumbering humanity with a debt that had to be repaid by abundant human sacrifices. The Cortà ©s Myth Quetzalcoatl’s fame is also linked to a persistent story about Hernan Cortà ©s, the Spanish conquistador credited with conquering the Aztec Empire. The story is that the last emperor Motecuhzoma (sometimes spelled Montezuma or Moctezuma) mistook Cortà ©s for the returning god, based on the supposed resemblance between the Spanish conquistador and the god. This story, detailed in Spanish records, is almost certainly false, but how it arose is a fascinating story itself. One possible theory for the origin of this story is that the Spanish misinterpreted the welcoming speech pronounced by the Aztec king. In this speech, if it ever happened, Motecuhzoma used a form of Aztec politeness that was mistaken by the Spanish for a form of submission. Other scholars suggest that the idea that Cortà ©s  and Quetzalcoatl were confused by the Mexica was entirely created by Franciscan friars, and elaborated during the post-Conquest period. Most interestingly, according to Smith (2013), some scholars attribute the origin of the Cortà ©s  myth to the Nahua nobility themselves, who invented it and told it to the Spanish to explain why Motecuhzoma hesitated to attack the conquering forces. It was the nobility who created the prophecy, a series of omens and signs, and claimed that Motecuhzoma truly believed Cortes to have been Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl’s Images The figure of Quetzalcoatl is represented in many different ways according to different epochs and Mesoamerican cultures. He is both represented in his non-human form as a feathered serpent with plumage along its body and around the head, as well as in his human form, especially among the Aztecs and in Colonial codices. In his human aspect, he is often depicted in dark colors with a red beak, symbolizing Ehecatl, the wind god; and wearing a cut shell as a pendant, symbolizing Venus. In many images, he is depicted wearing a plumed headdress and carrying a plumed shield. Quetzalcoatl Cult Centers Numerous circular temples (at Texcoco, Calixtlahuaca, Tlatelolco, and in the Pino Suarez metro station in Mexico City) are dedicated to Quetzalcoatl in the guise of Ecahtl, constructed without corners so the wind could easily blow around them. Extant temples dedicated to the cult of Quetzalcoatl have been identified at many Mesoamerican sites, such as Xochicalco, Teotihuacan, Cholula, Cempoala, Tula, Mayapan, and Chichen Itza. Edited and updated by K. Kris Hirst. Sources Berdan, Frances F. Aztec Archaeology and Ethnohistory. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2014. Print.Carrasco, David, Lindsay Jones, and Scott Sessions, eds. Mesoamericas Classic Heritage: From Teotihuacan to the Aztecs. Boulder: University Press of Colorado, 2002. Print.Milbrath, Susan. Maya Astronomical Observations and the Agricultural Cycle in the Postclassic Madrid Codex. Ancient Mesoamerica 28.2 (2017): 489–505. Print.Miller, Mary E., and Karl Taube, eds. The Gods and Symbols of Ancient Mexico and the Maya: An Illustrated Dictionary of Mesoamerican Religion. London: Thames and Hudson, 1993. Print.Mysyk, Darlene Avis. Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca in Cuauhquechollan (Valley of Atlixco, Mexico). Estudios ee Cultura Nhuatl 43 (2012): 115–38. Print.Smith, Michael E. The Aztecs. 3rd ed. Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2013. Print.

KNBC's Channel 4 Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

KNBC's Channel 4 - Essay Example It was almost too fast to follow and once a subject was completed, the feeling was one of wanting to know more. But the next subject was being discussed by then. The top stories covered in the April 30 newscast were, first, the Hollywood fire reported originally on April 29 and completely contained and put out by 8 am on April 30. One building and four small businesses were destroyed. It was like a firecracker that fizzled, although the anchors did try to make it interesting by mentioning familiar sites nearby such as the Pantages and Capitol Theaters and the building's location at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The name of the restaurant may have been given, but it was not repeated. It was said to be similar to the Brown Derby. Also, Lindsey Lohan was mentioned as celebrating her 21st birthday at the restaurant/nightclub known for its erotic dancers. Although there apparently was no specific charge of arson, according to the anchors, because of earlier suspicious fires that might be arson, an investigation was underway to determine if the fire was accidental. KNBC does have a Web site and the story was presented in far more detail with video and photographs (Crews Investigate). The name of the restaurant was given on the Web site-Basque Restaurant and Nightclub. The second story to be presented was the May 1 protest at McArthur Park at which it was thought 25,000 to 100,000 people might attend. Because of clashes between police, demonstrators and journalists the year before, a low profile was planned by police. Previous use of force by police in 2007 embarassed both police and city officials, and the officers were retrained for the present protest. The protest was against federal immigration laws, which the Latino population felt were dividing families and were unfair. This was followed by the border protest "Stop the Mexican Government," which was quickly noted on the broadcast but not discussed in detail. The coverage of the protest was continued on Moyer and Williams' evening broadcast on May 1 and dominated the news hour, even though only 10,000 protestors showed up, not the expected 100,000, and there were no major disturbances. Again, the story again brought to mind a fizzled firecracker. The team announced the death of a San Francisco surfer killed on Monday, the 28th of April by a grey shark when he bled to death from a thigh injury. The fact that the incident occurred in Mexico was stressed. The federal interest rate was the next topic of discussion, cut .25% , which, it was noted, weakens the dollar once again. The broadcasters further discussed the fact that the government says there is no recession, even though the rising price of food and gas and the plummeting housing market does not confirm this. Except for obvious but unspoken criticism of President Bush, Moyer and Williams' political coverage was balanced with McCain offering tax credits re health costs, Hillary Clinton credited with appealing to blue collar workers, and Michelle Obama making no comment about Rev. Wright. Obama claims 10 super deligates and Hillary only 6. The final story presented was on the firefight across 580 acres of the Sierra Madre

Hazardous Materials Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Hazardous Materials - Essay Example The other factors include; population density, location of the highways, waterways railroads as well as the areas whose environment is affected by the incidents. The hazardous material incident representatives such as the local and state environmental agencies can be used to provide information concerning the assessment of factors pose as a threat to the environment. Confinement and containment are first lines of defense that are used at the early stages of the incidents that are aimed at minimizing risks to life and the environment. In addition, the natural and synthetic methods can be used to limit the rate at which materials are released. In case a reported incident is taking place in a building, a telecommunicator should seek information from a caller about the contents of the building and the area that surrounds it. It is imperative to ask about the type of business in a building because it could be as an indicator of the hazardous materials .This information should be directed to responding units. A caller should inform a responder on the location and the nature of the hazardous material when it is safe to do so (DeLisi, 2006). Placards are used to identify the substance that co

Victims’ Rights and Vengeance Essay Example for Free

Victims’ Rights and Vengeance Essay I believe that current state of victims’ right in America is better than it has been in the past thirty years. Thirty years ago, victims had few legal rights to be informed, present and heard within the criminal justice system. Victims did not have to be notified of court proceedings or of the arrest or release of the defendant, they had no right to attend the trial or other proceedings, and they had no right to make a statement to the court at sentencing or at other hearings. Moreover, victim assistance programs were virtually non-existent. Today, every state has an extensive body of basic rights and protections for victims of crime within its statutory code. Victims rights statutes have significantly influenced the manner in which victims are treated within the federal, state, and local criminal justice systems. 2004 Crime Victims’ Rights Act I believe that the 2004 Crimes Victims’ Rights Act has been effective to some extent. The CRVA helps victims assert and encourage enforcement of victims’ rights. It promotes compliance with victims’ rights laws. Funds grant programs and other activities to implement provisions. Provides an enforcement mechanism for rights delineated in the Act. The CRVA may legitimately consider to go too far and give victims undue rights at the expense of a fair trial. For instance, it allows them to â€Å"be heard at any proceedings related to the offence, regardless as to whether or not their input is relevant or appropriate. It is based on a very naive view of crime and criminal procedure; it assumes that all victims are innocent people attacked by dangerous criminals. However, a lot of crime victims dont fit  that category- many crimes have no clear victim, some victims are large corporations, and in a very large percentage of cases, the victims are criminals themselves. This amendment isnt necessarily appropriate for all cases and shouldnt be so. Vengeance Personally I do believe that vengeance does fix anything. Punishment should be a form of vengeance but a form of deterrence, detainment, and rehabilitation of the offender so that he or she will not cause any more harm to others. Vengeance does not bring the people that have been lost back. Fixing the issues can prevent more casualties from happening. The American tough on crime stance taken by elected officials from across the political spectrum has not halted the resurgence of crime in the last few years, nor has it helped prevent ex-inmates from once again ending up behind bars. The criminal justice system needs to spend more money in the parole, probation, and rehabilitation structure because clearly â€Å"punishment† alone isn’t working. Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) I agree with the actions of Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests because it is an organization that specializes in helping women and men wounded by religious authority figures such as priests, ministers, bishops, deacons, nuns and others. Before SNAP many sexual abused cases were not reported or taken to court. The SNAP organization helps the victims of a sexual abuse crime by a religious authority get the information, support, and psychological help that they need. Its claims have been validated, and a few though hardly all of its recommendations have been implemented by the church hierarchy. SNAP’s advocacy on the Catholic scandal also helped push the reality of sexual abuse into the public consciousness to the point that victims can regularly win in courts and get a hearing in the media, and they are much more likely to come forward to tell their stories, whether they were abused by clergy or by athletic coaches or Boy Scout leaders. References: Crime Victims Rights Act http://www.justice.gov/usao/eousa/vr/crime_victims.html Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests http://www.snapnetwork.org/resources Crime Victims’ Rights http://www.ovc.gov/rights/legislation.html Crime, Punishment and Vengeance in the Age of Mass Imprisonment http://www.alternet.org/story/50464/crime,_punishment_and_vengeance_in_the_age_of_mass_imprisonment

The Ubiquitous Monopoly :: Business Essays

The Ubiquitous Monopoly Monopoly is nearly always seen as something undesirable. Courts have wrestled with monopoly for ages, sometimes defining it as: "the power to control prices and exclude competition", "restraining trade", or "unfair and anti-competitive behavior." Should monopolistic practices be condemned and outlawed? Let's look at anti-competitive behavior and practices, but let's not confine ourselves to what's traditionally seen as monopoly. The marriage contract is essentially a monopoly document. It represents a legally sanctioned collusive agreement between two parties to exclude competitors and restrain trade. It closes the market to competition, or at least it is supposed to. This collusion has benefits as well as costs. Because I have exclusive rights to her affections and property rights to a stream of highly valued domestic services, I place a higher value on my spouse, making me willing to share with her a greater percentage of my wealth. My spouse receives a comparable set of benefits from this collusive arrangement. This monopolistic arrangement has a cost side and perhaps some inefficiencies as well. Neither one of us is as attentive as we were before we made our contractual arrangement. For my part, I don't open the car door for her as often, don't use breath fresheners and colognes as frequently, am not as nearly considerate and gentlemanly as before our marriage some 42 years earlier. The reason is simply that before marriage I was competing against other men and therefore could ill afford to act as a monopolist. Read the Old Testament's Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 5, where God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. The first commandment, and presumably the most important is, "Thou Shalt have none other gods before me." The second is, "Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above. . . ." Then there's, "Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God. . . ." If a corporation made a similar decree regarding its services, it would find itself in the sights of the U.S. Department of Justice for gross violations of the anti-trust provisions of the Sherman and Clayton Acts. The Ten Commandments decree exclusive dealing and mandate neither substitutes for nor competition with God. In order for one to condemn all monopolistic practices as evil, at least for consistency, he would have to also condemn marriage and the basic tenets of Christianity.

Problems of the Heart

â€Å"It was the end of the Lent term, nearing the Easter holiday. Cesca looked out of the window and with one leap, jumped. It was only on the first floor so the drop wasn't too big. She fell gracefully onto the ground below on to feet with a soft thud, stood up and walked towards the swimming pool. Every one that had been sitting in the form room rushed to the window to peer out and see if Cesca was okay. Amazed they watched her stand up and walk away as if she had done no different than walking through a door. ‘ What you do that for?!' cried Isabel out the window rather bemused, she got no reply it seemed Lola was in a world of her own. The six girls returned to their normal places in the room. Isabel resumed her picturesque pose of which she stood with her arm held high above her head, in the corner of the room, balancing on one foot with her tongue just coming out of the left side of her mouth as she stretched clasping her mobile desperately trying to get one bar of signal in order to send a text message to her boyfriend Jamie. Fleur went back to the table and perched on it with a look of concentration on her face that was very unusual she was very focused as she moved her hand with such precision as she placed the small brush into the pot and painted tiny strokes, then swore aloud and dived for the nail varnish remover to eliminate the unwanted blotch from her pristine finger. Charlie stayed by the window surrounded by her fan club; she was undoubtedly the most popular girl in the year. The fan club consisted of Paris, Fanny and Jo Jo; they followed her everywhere flattering her with anything that sprang to mind. There they stayed and continued nattering about the current topic of interest, which was whether Charlie's new haircut was more stylish than Britney Spear's latest venture. This new found issue was one of great importance, one that was not to be taken lightly in their opinion, it was even about seven points higher than the war on Iraq on their ‘ Topic List'. This list consisted of things like blusher colours, if red was the new black or if the ‘little black dress' had been taken over by the sudden craze of hot pants. These were normal day things that were compulsory to their small pointless lives or so this is what I thought.† † I think I hurt my ankle jumping out of that window. I couldn't stay another second in there it was driving me insane. I hate my year they are so small-minded. All they care about is this seasons colours or whether their boyfriends have the latest Porsche or not. The biggest tragedy they could possibly encounter in their lives would be if ‘Daddy' wouldn't let them go to the summer ball. People like them really annoy me for example Isabel spends her whole time worrying about what people could be saying about her and compares herself to everyone while in reality she spends 85% of her pointless time makings unfair judgements of people she knows nothing about, hair or the length of their legs are usually her favourites to bitch about. And Charlie, who spends her time with her head up in the clouds, so much that she doesn't see that her precious fan club, Jo Jo, Paris and Fanny, spend their whole time saying horrible things about her whenever her back is turned, the complete opposite to what they praise her for. She is too stupid to see it, what an idiot. I wish that all the mobiles in the world could be destroyed so that the girls at our school could try and live their lives, for once without them for five minutes. Their lives revolve around them; in fact they are their lives, that is so sad. I hate everything about this place is seems so picturesque and angelic but it is full of hate and depression, or maybe i am the one with the depression, I miss her so much I feel like a part of me is missing. Everything was a disaster last year and it is still unfinished, i wished she could come back so i could either ring her neck for all of the hurt and pain that she caused or run to her and hug her and start crying hysterically. I suppose I will never know all I ask is closure. † † Being a form tutor I have to sit in the form room to make sure that no more excessive amounts of red nail polish are spilt on the floor. I do have my own bits and pieces to get on with I am a very busy teacher, instead I have to sit here and baby-sit a dozen, childish, vain, spoilt, teenagers making sure they spill liquids any where, while they have mindless conversations. ‘I am so excited about the Easter hols it is going to be so wicked!' said Isabel after she breathed a sigh of relief because her text message had been sent. Fleur looked up from her nails and said something unexpected, but only to me the others didn't seem to notice the change in attitude, ‘ I am really worried about Cesca, she seems really unhappy at the moment, she keeps getting really frustrated. What have we done to her to make her so angry?' ‘It's ok it's not us, or at least I don't think it is. I was talking to Eims about her the other day. You know how she is really worried about her and doesn't know what to do. Apparently she gets depressed very frequently for no reason at all, or at least no one knows why, she thinks she is trying to kill herself.† ‘ This came from Fanny, it got every one's attention, Isabel looked up from her phone, and Paris and Jo Jo took their eyes off Charlie, Charlie stopped fiddling with her newly blonde hair to look up at Paris. ‘ That's terrible, what would make her do such a thing?' said Jo Jo. At that moment Cesca walked in luckily it didn't seem like she had overheard the conversation. She walked in and slumped onto a chair. I took the register and saw the girls excluding Cesca whispering to each other; even though i haven't been at this school very long it is long enough to know that all the girls do is gossip or bitch. Anything with an emotional content everyone will stay well away from, like an elephant from a mouse.'† † ‘ She doesn't love me, Cesca' Fernanda said quietly. If it was anyone else the tears would have been tumbling down their cheeks. That, however didn't apply to her, the situation was far gone at that point, it was beyond tears for her she sat on my messy bed, with a look of speechlessness and, unbelievably, acceptance on her face. I sat there not wanting to look into her brown eyes, aware that they were a bottomless pit of hurt and despair. Still keeping my eyes fixed on the childish Mickey Mouse duvet cover, I tried numerous times to say something, anything, unfortunately my words failed me and all I was left to do was open and close my mouth in hope that something of use would come out all that this did was make me look like I was imitating a guppy fish. I knew that all she needed at this time was hope; otherwise she would've lost her bearing on reality, which she was very capable of doing. I felt useless and as though there was nothing I could do but stand by and watch. All I could do was deny it, ‘That's not true Fernanda, your so cynical, you're being ridiculous. Of course she still loves you.' With this I removed my gaze from the duvet and she caught my eye and forced me to look into her unhappy eyes. It was hopeless all I could say would be lies, I couldn't reassure her because there was not one shred of truth in my words.† Dear diary, School is terrible at the moment, everyone just sits around staring at each other, I think they have run out of things to say to each other. Especially Eims, Cesca and Fernanda all they do is argue now. Every night on our floor there is an argument, one thing I have learnt about them is don't get in the way at these times, our floor is wrecked there are dents in the walls, broken chairs and bins. They used to be such good friends, well it started off with Fernanda and Cesca then Eims came in and they were all good friends, they were inseparable. Then something happened between Fernanda and Eims, they just suddenly grew apart, it is still happening now. Although it seems to be Eims trying to get away from Fernanda, I never see her anymore she spends her whole time with Carolina in the year above she is in a different boarding so makes a good escape. They're best friends now they are very close, this seems to be tearing Fernanda apart. She is a very possessive person; one of the most you will ever meet. Fernanda has argued with Carolina loads of times, she has made her cry which is really stupid considering she is in the year abovevery brave considering she is in the year above. Apparently it is though she is trying to stop Carolina being friends with Eims, I don't understand why she cares so much. What's the big deal? Almost every time she looks at Eims for a long period of time she starts crying. I feel sorry for Cesca she always seems to be caught in the middle. You can tell that she loves both of them a lot, whenever they start arguing she goes all funny and can't stay in the room very long or she will go to the other side of the room and try to distract herself or usually burst into tears and beg them to stop arguing. I really don't understand why they are so dramatic and argue all of the time, something must of happened to make them be like that. â€Å"Ok one more stop, then a one and a half mile walk. I spend my whole time on buses, tubes, trains or on foot, compensating for other people's laziness. I can't wait till I go to Japan tomorrow, although I'm not sure which clothes to take I don't want to look like an idiot walking round wearing something that is completely out of fashion. This is my stop, I better give Cesca a ring she's a wreck after Fernanda left. Come on pick up the phone; please tell me you don't have it one silent. ‘ Hey gorgeous, how are you? You surviving?' I said attempting to sound cheerful, hoping it might rub off onto her, but in vain. ‘ Yea I'm ok, just about surviving. I just lock myself up in a room and hope that no one will try to talk to me, except you of course I can talk to you Eims.' She sounded depressed I was probably the first person she had talked to in days. I wonder how long this conversation is going to go on for, we are just making polite, superficial conversation, this is pointless, we are never going to be friends unless she knows†¦ I have to tell her†¦ She is gone now†¦ If I don't tell Cesca soon I am going to explode†¦ I can't keep it in any longer†¦ ‘ I have something to tell you.' I spat out, interrupting her in full flow on how she was avoiding everyone's puzzlement and how much she missed Fernanda. I knew that if I didn't say it now I never would†¦ ‘ It's something you don't know†¦' Come on say it, get it out once and for all, this is your only chance. ‘ It's about Fernanada she†¦she†¦' Oh God I can't believe I am even considering telling her. It would wreck everything she ever had with Fernanda. She would feel betrayed and hurt, you know how much she loved Fernanda, remember how Cesca was when she found out that Fernanda had been trying to kill herself. She had a fit and started hyperventilating, chairs got broken and dents were made in the walls. If I told her it would just be a dreadful repeat of that, I don't want to put her through it again. On the other hand, she deserves to know, she had been lied to for such a long time. It can't do her any harm Fernanda is gone now†¦ ‘She had more than just†¦friendly feelings for me. You knew me I loved her more than anything I would have done anything for her, I was blinded and didn't see it. I felt betrayed, that was why we had so many arguments. When she first told me I was willing to overlook it like any decent person. I mean it wouldn't of made any difference but she made how she felt plainly obvious, i couldn't escape it, she just started seeing me as a piece of ass, she forgot who I was, inside as a person.' It was completely silent she wasn't saying anything, ‘ Cesca are you there?!' I repeated it again. ‘ Yes, yes alright I'm here!' Her tone dropped from angry to someone who had had their heart ripped out with the help of a rusty spoon. ‘ I knew already†¦i just wouldn't admit it.' She hung up. Cesca Look, I haven't seen you in a year. I can't go on any longer. You are the only thing that is keeping me going here, I feel so alone. I want to come and see you in England. I know you say that it will be really hard and the arguments will be worse. And Eims will be there but I don't care I want to see you. I know it won't be easy but with the bad comes the good. That is all that matters to me. I want to see you†¦That's why I have decided to come back for this summer term†¦